MY SATURN RETURN AND TURNING 28

Each year as I creep closer to 30, I get progressively more excited about it. At 25, I craved staying in my young adulthood freedom and lack of responsibilities, relishing the carefree moments that defined that stage of life. I was hesitant to let go of the spontaneity and the lightheartedness that came with being in my early and mid-twenties. However, by the time I reached 27, I found myself at a pivotal point, one where I was finally open to the idea of having true autonomy.

Deciding my path and where I was headed.

That realization felt like a lot of weight to carry at the time. It used to feel limiting and like a negative thing to think about. Who am I? Who do I want to be? Where do I see myself in 5 or 10 years? So many decisions led me wanting to just stick to whatever was in front of me and commit to just that. I tend to have decision paralysis. Safety in comfort felt really nice for a bit, and I guess I needed that.

Now it feels liberating to embrace the uncertainty of what life holds for me. I don't know the answers to all of life's choices but that is okay. I can decide today one thing and change my mind tomorrow. I think the real difference is I am genuinely excited to explore the path ahead instead of afraid. I can trust my gut when something feels like a hell yeah or a hell no. Saying yes, and meaning it. I am open to whatever it looks like, ready to explore the myriad possibilities that lie ahead.

Over the years, I have nailed down more of my core feelings, beliefs, and desires, gaining clarity on what truly matters to me. It is almost like thirty, flirty, and thriving...was really onto something.

As I celebrate this milestone, I also honor the slow–burn transformation happening inside me. My Saturn return. This isn’t about endings, instead it’s about planting seeds for long-term growth. It’s time to define my emotional boundaries, build a home where my inner child feels safe, and step into an authentic version of myself that thrives with autonomy and trust. Or at least, thats what the internet says should be happening between 27 and 31.

If you’ve entered this cosmic phase too, know: we’re not alone. This period is intense, messy, and often lonely, but also one of the deepest initiations into the next chapter. Here’s to the inner work, the boundary-setting, and the courage to build roots that reflect our truest selves.

Most notably, my Saturn return has pushed for a shift in my view of relationships and how I show up. I think for years I slowly have been burning towards this shift. It isn't a "wake up tomorrow and suddenly feel different" but days stacking together to create this change.

I think a majority of my life and particularly my twenties I saw all my relationships as something to pour myself into every single opportunity I could, even if I wasn’t able to pour into my own cup. The idea of being there for others was paramount, often at the expense of my own needs.

I adopted a mentality of showing up, being creative, bringing as much as possible to the table, and giving whatever I had. This became a standard I set for myself because I wanted to ensure that no one felt less than due to the way I showed up for them. In my mind, the only acceptable way to engage was to show up at 1000% for every person at all times. This, however, was definitely not a perfect system. I consistently gave whatever I had to give, even when rest was a more reasonable choice. The concept of rest? Well, let’s just say we were barely acquainted.

This approach wasn’t sustainable. As much as I loved to do it, I couldn’t keep up with my own personal growing standards for myself. Life is more complicated and messy than being able to show up for everyone in your life 100% of the time.

Heading into thirty, it feels like I need to be more selfish and give to myself a little more than I have been. This shift in perspective is not about neglecting my responsibilities or relationships, but rather about recognizing the importance of self-care and self-love in the equation of life.

By no means does this mean I’m showing up as a neglecting daughter, sister, friend (...partner?) or not showing up at all. I just have to give myself the space to just literally show up, whatever that means for me. I’m getting comfortable with the idea that it’s okay to be selfish, it’s my life after all. Selfish people this, selfish people that. I always thought being selfish was one of the worst insults. In reality, I think making selfish choices in life can be necessary. Otherwise, who are we living this life for, if not for ourselves?

When it comes to romantic love, maybe that was also where I was going wrong. Investing myself into one person because the idea of them sounded so good and I could see myself giving myself to them...but can I see them giving to me? Is that reciprocated?

Another big shift I am clocking for myself is my loyalty. Loyalty is huge for me as a Leo, and I stand strongly behind that value. However, the nuance is that it’s one thing to be loyal and another to lose yourself in other people’s opinions and feelings.

I have a tendency to ask x, y, and z their opinion on a decision, outfit, or nail color. Like babe just pick the blue nail polish, its not that deep! Decisiveness is the strongest trait in a successful person and I am really trying to lean into that knowledge lately. Leaning into the confidence in my choices and really understanding my desires. No one else knows that I feel insecure about my legs today, so a skirt is obviously the worst suggestion ever.

I’m learning that in order to fulfill the other things I want for my life and my future, I have to take a small step back from valuing outside noise more than my own truth. This realization is both liberating and daunting, as it requires a level of reflection I am just now getting more comfortable with.

I’m getting very comfortable with the idea of disappointing others... or at least trying to. I never want to upset anyone or do something hurtful but at the end of the day, we can’t make everyone happy. While it will always be in my nature to consider others, it can’t be my sole drive in my life. I must move in ways that fulfills me, not just everyone around me. This is a delicate balance, but I am learning to navigate it with grace and intention.

My Saturn return is really honing in on my boundaries and just really not caring so much about everyone else, respectfully. It’s okay to live this life for myself and no one else. Even saying that… feels wrong and that’s probably why your return lasts until you’re 31. These giant pillars of my identity can’t change overnight but I am excited for what things will come my way for being open to this shift. 

I am starting to realize that it’s okay for me to shift and evolve. At least, I’ll keep saying it until I fully convince myself, which might take a little time.

Something a stranger once told me when I was around 10 years old was, "the only thing you can count on is change", and that really stuck with me. We are all always shifting and evolving.

I celebrate the idea that I am growing closer to the truest version of myself. The old me, was still me. She was "true" and trying her best. Today me, feels more grounded in handling life and the toolbox I have created over the years. While I do not have all my goals achieved or know how to handle every situation perfectly, I am incredibly proud of who I am becoming.

I really do feel like my thirties will be an incredible decade for me. It sort of feels like my name got called in the waiting room and I am finally getting started. We're signing the paperwork, doing the questionnaire, getting health insurance figured out and then we can hit our 30's.

We're not quite to 30, so I will quietly continue doing the work and realigning with myself. Potentially this shift in attitude and perspective will make all the difference. A year of yes and no, a year of lots of journaling, a year of lots of manifesting, and a year filled with a lot of love and intention.

I hope my inner child can feel safer knowing I am doing my best to honor her. What she wanted out of life and who she thought she would be someday. Another year, shoot another day, is an opportunity to grow and show up. I don't take that lightly! While at the same time, life is meant to feel fun and fulfilling. So maybe thats what this era is, deep down, all about. Joy.

Who knows I am just some 28 year old girl trying to figure it all out as she goes. I might be so wrong in some ways and completely right in others. I just gotta live my life authentically and figure out the rest as it comes! Even this blog post feels like I need to end it with some caveat like "I know I might be wrong but I am trying!!!! lol <3". So let's just carry on before I start doing all that.

This next chapter is ripe with potential, and I am ready to dive in with an open heart and mind, eager to see what unfolds. Cheers to my fellow '97 babies!!